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tv   Noticiero Uni  Univision  August 8, 2013 11:35pm-12:00am EDT

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maybe it won't be so hard to give up men. i just--i love that song. hey, deb, you got an alarm clock? i want to make 6:30 mass at that church down the street. 6:30? is god even up then? anyone interested in joining me? i usually go over by work. ok, then. good night. night. ray: night. i lied half-naked to a nun. oh, please. 6:30 in the morning. that's what time she used to go to bed. where did she get this from? i don't know. maybe your sister got one of those... callings. yeah, well, then that call was on hold while she dated the who.
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why is this bothering you so much? i don't know. it's... you wouldn't understand. oh, yeah, that's right. i'm too stupid. i wouldn't understand. yeah. it's not like you're so complicated, you know? you're mad at her, and it's so obvious why. go ahead. you're mad at her because... no, wait. i know. i know. i--you--you are so very mad at her because... you... are not... the good sister anymore. what?! aha ha! that's it. that's it. you always used to be the good one, and jennifer was the bad one. but now she's becoming a nun, which makes her the really good one. she wins.
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that's not it. then what is it? i don't know, buthat's not it. you just don't like me being right, right? you're allowed to analyze me up and down, but i--i hit on a psychological... undercoating and--and you can't give me my due. you're a genius, professor. so what? so you're the bad one. so what? i prefer the bad one. the bad ones are naughty. oh... get off of me, ray. ok, bad girl-- ray! al right. all alone in rightville.
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♪ try to love one another ♪ come on, people, now [ female announcer ] rich, creamy quality breyers. the taste you've lovednow for over 140 years. [♪ right now uncer ] rich, creamy quality breyers. the taste you've lovednow oh, this salad is so wonderful, jennifer.r over 140 years. it may be the best salad i've ever eaten. excuse me, uh, sister jennifer. mightn't i trouble you to pass the peas this way, perchance? she's not the queen, frank. how about not talking with your mouth full? how about you jumpin'-- i'm just trying to enjoy god's bounty. let me help you, deb. oh, that's ok. i got it. so you want dessert now or later? oh, now, dear.
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'cause i have something across the street. i already have-- i'll be right back. marie, you shouldn't have bothered. oh, nonsense. it isn't every day that we have someone lik you with us. ray, would you stop it! so, uh... .. may i ask you a question that's been on my mind for quite some time? sure, frank. it's a rare opportunity for me to talk to someone of your vocation. which leads me to my question. what do you gals wear under there? dad! dad! what? we can't discuss rel deb, deb, deb, deb. deb. what? don't pretend with me. i only know too well
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the pain of being number 2. what did ray tell you? about you and your sister? he doesn't have to tell me. i've seen that face before. don't have that kind of relationship. oh, no? it starts the first day they bring the new one home. there you are, innocently playing with your bongo monkey. all the relatives the new little blessing. so cute, so-- so precious. then mama's darling begins to cry. someone comes up with the bright idea and from that day "thaforward,m him down say good-bye to youition.
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you are now number 2. i'm the youn what's that? i'm the youngest. they'd be giving me the bongo monkey. oh. well, it's just a very general story intended to illuminate the human condition. thank you. give me more than ray. ok, who wants ice cream? thank you. uh-huh. here we go. a special cake for a special someone. it's beautiful. well, it was made with love, in honor of the sacrifices you're making for us. is there a ecial dessert gracthi?
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i'm sure i won't be seeing much cake like this in zaire. ha. zaire. what? you're really gonna go to zaire stuff oreos and men. what are you saying, i can't do it? oh, i just think that before you become a nun and move to zaire, you might want to, um, e out for... oh, a weekend. debra, i don't think that was appropriate. [softly] ♪ me neither... not appropriate? ok, jen, why don't you tell us what is appropriate nun behavior? ok? um... smoking? you smoke? i used to smoke. yeah. everybody at her commune smoked. sometimes those funny little cigarettes, hmm? [gasp]
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hey, how come robert's got more ice cream than me? you were a pot-smoking hippie? no. it was just a place where people could live together and grow organic vegetables. naked. you handled food naked? thic. yeah, the hills were really alive then. what is wrong with you? what's wrong with you? excuse me.
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[knock on door] [door opens] do you mind? i'd like to be alone.you doing? come on, you want to talk? no. could you go? make me. i would, but you're a nun now. i'll put the vows on hold for a second. a piece of me? vows. hey, knock it off. i know you can't believe it, but i happen to be serious about this. why? what? why am i becoming a nun? yeah, why don't you tell me? because i want to be better than you. what? yeah. that's why we all become nuns. i never thout that was it. chocolate, huh? still got a secret stash? so what? ys knew where it was.
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you thought you were so cool, hiding your halloween candy, eating just a little bit so it would last longer than mine. you didn't know where it was. oh, boy. you must really be upset. well, excuse me, but i'm not the one who just dropped in to say, "oh, hi. i'm becoming a nun. so long, suckers." debra, this has been coming for quite some time. ah, well, how would i know that, because i haven't seen you in 2 years and barely before that. and since college, you don't even keep in touch. i was moving around a lot. i didn't know what i wanted to do. oh, and all of a sudden, you know. i have known for about a year and a half. i've had a ok, fine. fine. but that's not what's bothering me. [voice breaking] what's bothering me is...
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what? you weren't around, and i was ok, because i thought that someday you would... you know... and... [crying] so i've been waiting, and...now you're leaving for good. i want a sister. not sister sister. a sister. i'm still your sister. no, you're zaire's sister. i mean, ray and robert, they have this, like, completely screwed-up relationship, but at least they have each other, you know? i meompete and they blame their lives on their parents. they're real brothers. you know, dad still drinks.
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that's sweet, but i know what you're trying to do. listen, i know how flaky i've been, but this is right for me. just like you knew this life was right for you when you met ray. yeah, but you get to go to zaire, and i'm stuck here with his family. the barones could use your help, too, you know. [laughing] [deep sigh] then you better pray for me. for shopping that took half e the time. and more at famous footwear. victory is yours.
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♪ that's it for the ice cream? that's all we had? aw, great. what's the big deal? nothing. i just wanted a little more ice cream, that's all. i hardly had any. i just wanted a little more ice cream. nothing. ii had... squat. i had nothing. nothing ice cream... all right, all right. quit whining. bongo monkey. captioning made possible by talk productions captioned by captioneering your closed captioning resource
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[ superfan ] helper help line. we're on our way. you have got to try this sweet & sour chicken helper. i didn't know they made chicken! crunchy taco or four cheese lasagna? there's 40 different flavors? that's really good. i love cheese. dad's night. helper makes daddy the man. yes. could i get another one of those, actually? thank you. [ male announcer ] hey, america, we're here to help. americashelper.com. captions paid for by. the fox broadcasting company welcome to "dish nation." i'm rickey smiley from right here in atlanta, georgia. hey, right now, all the way across the country, in l.a.,
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heidi and frank. >> yeah! >> hey, rickey. we were able to find the comedy incancer, thanks to chris rock and pamela anderson. >> you know you need i rickey. we've got today's rick squish. >> let's see what's going on in the dfw. what's up, dallas? zg1@&hc& >> throw your hands in the kelly. >> you missed it. >> check it i tonigdon't know if you guys hot date this weekend. >> let's hope your date doesn't show up with oprah hair. what is that? >> britney spears versus christina a but first, we've go judges, heidi klum and for all the believers out there,here's been a bieber fiasco. started right here in atlanta! >> you'll never guess what
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sparked a nightclub brawl with justin bieber. >> what? >> a white bow tie. let's break this down. nightclub in southampton. justin bieber chilling with all his boys. wayne reynolds rocking a white bow tie. a bottle girl liked the bow tie so wanted to rock it. he took the bow tie off, gave it to the girl. the girl runs over toin bieber's vip section, in the meantime wayne followed her, because he wanted his bow tie bag. the vip section. not really fe >> so he got attacked? >> exactly. he got into an altercation. wentkh out to the doggone park justin bieber jumped off the hood his car and beat lil wayne down, dude.
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>> who is lil wayne fighting? >> it's wayne reynolds. >> who is wayne reynolds? >> he was in the club. >> he's not famous enough. we have to make surehe's not a celebrity. >> now he's famous for getting beat up over a white bow tie. "dish nation" celebrity. >> oh, man. >> at the end of the day, here's thetion. this is the crux of the matter. >> what's the crux?>> did the b back? people want to know. #8÷ yes, he did. >> he did? >> the chick gave it back to on the ground? >> tossed it. rumors are running wild about the new "american idol" judges and their big fat contracts. first on the list, the only confirmed judge right now is

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